Let's talk about pronouns
10 things you might not know about pronouns and how we use them!
Pronouns are words that we use every day. Instead of always using a person’s name, we’ll use pronouns like ‘I’ or ‘we’ to talk about ourselves, or ‘he’, ‘she’ or ‘they’ to refer to other people.
Using pronouns in the English language often relies on knowing the gender of the person we’re speaking about. And because gender identity is a complex and personal thing, you cannot always know someone’s gender - or the correct pronouns - just from looking at them.
Because pronouns are so linked to gender identity, some people choose to use different pronouns that line up better with how they experience their gender.
Sharing your own pronouns, asking people about theirs, and not assuming anything is a way of showing support and allyship for trans and gender-diverse people.
Gendered pronouns are the most familiar for most people. This includes words like ‘he’ ‘his’ and ‘him’, ‘she’ ‘hers’ and ‘her’.
The most common gender-neutral pronoun in English is ‘they’ and ‘them’. Using ‘they’ in this way has been part of our language since 1375!
Sometimes people prefer mixed pronouns, like she/they or they/he. This means different things to different people. It could be that they do not mind which set you use. Or it could be that they feel that just one type of pronoun doesn’t tell their whole story.
You might hear people say that it’s wrong to use gender-neutral pronouns, or that they’re awkward to say. But think about the sentence ‘Someone's left their coat here.’ It’s something we do naturally when we want to refer to someone without adding a gender.
As our understanding of gender diversity has changed and expanded, so have the pronouns available. Many people choose what are called neo-pronouns, like ‘xe/xir’ and ‘ze/zir’.
Although it might feel like these are all new ideas, actually our language is always changing. In the past, people have used ‘a’, ‘heo’, ‘ou’ and ‘thon’ as pronouns.
Did you know?
Many people in the public eye use gender-neutral or mixed pronouns. This includes actors Bella Ramsey from The Last of Us and Emma Corrin from The Crown, singer Sam Smith and comedian Mae Martin.
Looking for something more?
Since 2014, SH:24 has been making it easier to manage your sexual health with our free, online services. All delivered in partnership with the NHS.
All our information and articles are written by the SH:24 team and reviewed by medical experts.
Learn what symptoms to look out for, where to get tested and how to keep yourself safe from STIs.
From pills to patches, check out our guide to 14 different methods of birth control.